For The Climbers

One does not climb to attain enlightenment, rather one climbs because he is enlightened.” — Zen Master Futomaki.


I’m back suckkaaaa! Had a really busy semester with classes, teaching, writing proposal, and a shoulder injury. HOT DAMN!

Skip to 2:20 listen to the lyrics. So poetic and beautiful. 

"Come and lay, I’ll kiss you on the eyelids,
then we’ll sleep and dream good things. 
Don’t you know, it is just the chemicals in our brain, that cause us pain?”

Climbed today. Wow, I am really weak, I was able to send one 12. I didn’t realize how good of shape I was in last year. I was doing laps on 12’s with a 12 pound weight vest on. Now I can barley send one. Oh well, it just felt good to climb, even if it was plastic. Hopefully I’ll be able to make it consistent.

I’m doing fine, I’m managing to get by. There are times that a pain strikes like a gust of wind out of know where, and my heart twists, but it’s gone as quick as it came. I understand what you wanted me for. I was simply a testing ground for your experience. Hell, if I would have known that is all you wanted, I would have been perfectly fine with that. I would, however, held back the investment of my emotions into your plans. During these moments of heart twisting, I’ll end them with a laugh. How can I have played myself a fool with this silly game you played? What was it that made me do it? I guess I’ll never really know. but FUCK! There was something about you, something about us. We pressed so well against each other. Everything felt natural, comfortable, but exotic. Your smell. The way your head lifted as you moaned with pleasure. Kissing your neck and down your chest leaving you breathless. The simple way you would rest your hand on my chest. The words you would whisper in my ear…

I’m glad I have this guy. Keeps me happy when I feel lost.

I’m glad I have this guy. Keeps me happy when I feel lost.

I can’t even sleep in my bed… Memories of her still lay draped across it.